Can this be achieved? The techniques and advice contained in the rest of this
section are shocking revelations in both giving and receiving oral gratification.
These are proven must learn strategies in achieving the ultimate sexual release.

So that may be a bit of a pud stretch, but I am always amazed at how many
people are lost when they venture into their mates southern region.

Men are constantly getting the short end of the stick in girlie magazines.
Especially men with new partners, we have a deer caught in the headlights
moment. We sport a clueless expression, stunned by the light or lack thereof,
and an overwhelming feeling of complete and total confusion during our
introductory muff dive. When we come face to crotch with the magical pink folds
of ecstasy, we are intoxicated by the surge in hormones that blurs our
technique, and style. In the meantime, our new conquests are left wondering if
the lapping object between their legs is a drooling Saint Bernard or seizing
epileptic.

This situation is the most common or at least the most publicized complaint from
women about their men. There are only three reasons why men are
unsuccessful or do not perform well in giving oral pleasures:
  • We use techniques that have worked on previous partners.
  • We use techniques that we heard will be successful.
  • We have no idea what the fuck we are doing.

All of these have a basic common theme that can be easily solved. It might be
called ignorance, or stupidity, or lack of knowledge. In either choice of words,
education and patience will transform a nervous puppy into a King of
Cunnilingus.

This sounds simple, but there is another factor that needs to be addressed.
Many women are taught that their rug is dirty and should only be inspected for
medical or hygienic purposes. Now we have two idiots who really should not be
participating in this sexual act. Neither person has much experience, nor do
they know what, how, or why they are doing it. Stop running with scissors
people!

So what can the female do to idiot proof this potential oral train wreck?
  • Learn about your body. Use a mirror, take pictures, or have your meat
    stick assist you while you inspect yourself. WARNING: to avoid future
    embarrassment, make sure those pics are secure and will not make it to
    the Internet.
  • Become comfortable with yourself. If you want to explore, compare or
    quench curiosity, purchase some adult magazines, videos, or visit an all-
    nude strip joint. I recommend high-end places like a Cheetah Club.
  • Reference anatomy books. Everyone should know what plumbing they
    have, where the parts are, and the function they serve. If you have
    questions, you should consult every resource you have available, even
    the web.
  • Masturbate, massage, or at the very least feel around to discover the
    sensations you enjoy most.
  • Experiment with a vibrator, other sexual aid, or favorite vegetable. This is
    for the people who believe vibrators and sex toys should have a separate
    topic outside of masturbation. Isn't masturbation defined as sex with one's
    self?
  • There still may be some women who feel uncomfortable performing any
    or all of these just to learn about their bodies. It is understandable to
    have a certain level of anxiety regarding the exploration. To overcome
    this, I suggest to take your time, try to relax, and remember it is your body
    that you are learning about. There is nothing dirty about it.

Now, we have one educated woman who knows her body very well and a guy
who is still fumbling with the basics. Can you see where this is leading? Yes, it is
time pass this knowledge to your orally retarded mate. If you don't, he is going
to continue working the magic he used on his last partner and introducing those
great new techniques that every one is talking about. You will leave him and
basically restart the cycle with another uneducated slit licking fool. Wouldn't it
be nice to find a guy who knew his way around that area, who knew how to
tease, and who could tongue fuck you into a totally earth shaking and mind-
numbing orgasm?

The trick is how to teach him without crushing his ego. I wouldn't recommend
pointing to your clitoris and screaming, "lick right there, dumb ass," that is not
an option. You might want to try the subtle, yet direct approach, by softly
saying, "yeah, right there," or "a little harder," or even the "oh God, yes." Or
you could use the moaning technique. Every woman apparently knows this one;
where she changes the volume and tone of her moan to guide the man without
really saying anything. This may work, but remember two things; his mind isn't
getting the blood it needs to function properly and his ears are covered. Add
the television or music and basically you are feeding your privates to a
slobbering, blind, and deaf mute.

After all this, I do believe there is one "best way" to teach your mate how to
enjoy your well prepared and groomed delicacy. I will coin it "Ears." It is true;
they aren't just for listening anymore. Ears can and should be used for steering.
The majority of men like it when a lass grabs a firm hold of the ears and pushes
him in the right direction. For us, it is not only educational, but considerate; as
well as a huge turn on. Some friends have confided that they have prematurely
blown their wads when confronted with such an assertive, independent, and
educated woman. The premature topic is for another article (stay-tuned).

Let’s move to the other side of the relationship. Some women like to give head,
others don't. It is a simple fact; there are talented ones out there and some who
can’t spell dick. As men, we know our pricks quit well. We have been playing
with it for years, so we know what we like and how we like it to be treated.

The primary problems with women servicing men are the same as the ones
mentioned for the men above. I am surprised at the lack of articles addressing
technique and education on the topic of providing a decent rim job. Apparently,
this is a taboo topic that not many women's magazines want to discuss. Well, I
call Bullshit and demand equal rights. In the table below, I provide suggestions
for women who wish to improve their experience and the corresponding insights
for the men.































Even with that mouthful of information you still may need more help. You might
want to view porn videos focusing on fellatio or cunnilingus; there is no shame
in learning.

Then again there may be situations, people, or relationships where oral
pleasure appears to be impossible. Maybe your partner is not responsive to
oral exploration, or both of you are in a rut, or maybe it just seems awkward?
Please see the link below on Sex
:: Second Coming: Oral Sex (Best Ever) ::
:: Average Single Male :: by Jim Parker
Please Send Us Your Questions, Comments, and
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Questions, comments, or feedback:
For Women
For Men
There is more than a shaft there. Realize
there is a ball sack you could pay some
attention to.
Find the clitoris dip stick.
Take your time. If you suck like a vacuum
and get too passionate too quick, so will
he.
Take your time. Women need more time
than you do, so be patient and enjoy the
view; adjust lighting accordingly.
Add variety. Up, down, up, down, that is
nice, but do a change up. Hum, do
raspberries, flick with your tongue, and
kiss.
Add variety. Don’t lap like a panting dog.
Suck, hum, kiss, nibble, give her light
raspberries, flick your tongue, and
change the rhythm.
Use your hands. Stoke it, fondle it,
squeeze it, massage it, and have fun with
it. Note: Unless this is strictly a highway
hand-job you must keep licking.
We aren't trying to pop a cherry in the
back seat of a Chevy, give gentle
massages and check under the hood
there is a little surprise there, see first
suggestion.
Take a break and hit other spots. Lick
inner thighs, kiss his abdomen, and try
other erogenous zones.
See left column for women, same thing.
Tease him. Use the suggestions above
and try to make him beg for more.
See left column for women, same thing.
Swallowing is optional. Most men are fine
if you finish with a hand-job or move into
intercourse.
Swallowing is…well, let’s change this
one to, look for the G-spot (not optional).
You must make your best efforts to
discover this mysterious area.
Remember where it is, she will quiz you
everytime.
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average single male by
an average single male
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Relationships

Quickies and Out Takes

Recipes

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